Timothy and Conrad instruct Ethan on How Not to Fall in Love so Fast.
- J.D. Hines
- Apr 19, 2020
- 2 min read
Timothy: 'Puts hands on waist, standing across from his bunkbed' "Listen to everything we tell you, Ethan, 'cause this is for your own good. We've known you for a few years now, and have noticed your tendency of, well, falling for a girl way too rapidly.
Ethan: "What? Y'all, is this a joke?"
Conrad: "Nah." 'Spits into a trash bin between his legs.'
Timothy: "Even after a break up, you search for someone else. Which is completely unnecessary, considering how much other activities you can be doing. For instance, sitting at home playing a video game. A delightful activity that can empower the mind-
Conrad- "If you play the right game. I don't know what crap Timothy plays."
Timothy: 'Loudly clears his throat.' "Or, going for a nice long walk."
Conrad: "Make sure it's in your ex's neighborhood." 'Tries to hold back a snicker, but it comes out anyway.'
Timothy: "Thank. You. Conrad."
Ethan: "Okay, this nice and all, but I need to get some sleep. You guys are boring me."
Timothy: 'Holds up a finger' "Now, wait a second, Ethan, not every girl you see is your match made in Heaven. This is what we want you to understand."
Conrad: "Yeah, and stop bringing girls in here. Some of them stink."
Ethan: 'Narrows his eyes.' "Like what?"
Conrad: "Like all the dang perfume they have on."
Ethan: 'Looks up and shrugs.' Say's quietly to himself, "Smells alright to me."
Conrad: "Yeah, well not all of us like the smell of Daisy Sweet Scent, okay?! Makes me want to freakin' throw up, sometimes."
Ethan: "Well, maybe you should-!?"
Timothy: "Daisy Sweet Scent, huh? Conrad, since you know the name of it, why don't you tell Locke where he can buy some-
Conrad: "I was. just. making. it up!-"
Timothy: That way, Locke can spray it in the room before you enter. Hahaha!
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